Coming up tomorrow night is Hollywood’s annual celebration of the greatest movies of the past year. The best and the brightest Tinseltown offers is presented in all it’s shining glory, just awaiting our gleeful attention. And no I don’t believe a word of this either. But every year, the wife and I go all out watching, commenting endlessly, and thrilling to every fake minute of it all. And as I mentioned here, the only nominated movie I have seen is The Help.
Our first order of business on Oscar night is to, well, order in. Swiss Chalet is usually the wife’s favourite, and who I am to argue? We follow that up, after some digesting occurs, with junk food galore. Potato chips with dip, various chocolate bars, and maybe some popcorn (with loads of butter!) complete our menu of gluttonous ghastliness. Some years back I tossed a scoop (!!) of ice cream, some coke, and a whack of whipped cream into two mugs, making me very proud of my creation. Later my friend Gianna informed me this was called a float. I learn new things every day.
We are both very happy with the inclusion of Billy Crystal as the host this year. All previous times he has hosted have caused great fun and merriment for us. Once, Billy Crystal was joined for a minute or so by Robin Williams onstage. Their resulting improved routine made my wife spasm with laughter, almost pee herself, and eventually hyperventilate. She also has the same reaction when she listened to Ellen DeGeneres in Finding Nemo. Oddly, this never occurs when Russell Brand or Ricky Gervais are onscreen, people I find remarkably funny. She thinks I need better taste.
We endlessly debate, for days and weeks and months and years and decades, the winners and losers. The bad fashion choices fade away after a few minutes. And the “why is this person a star?” questions are only dwelt on for a short few moments. The pulse pounding excitement of the Best Picture Award, presented right at the very end, almost always cause the most discussions between us. To this day, I still hold an undying hatred against Braveheart for winning Best Picture over Babe. My wife has told me to seek therapy. Then she made me some bacon. I still weep.
So join us tomorrow night for four hours plus of Hollywood insanity. The 10,263rd annual (I don’t recall the exact number) Academy Awards are on Sunday, February 26th at 8pm on ABC Network in the U.S. and CTV Network in Canada. I will provide scintillating (?) commentary on twitter, until the wife confiscates my Blackberry.
And maybe we will get lucky and Ricky Gervais will crash the party. My wife is giving me a look now. I wonder why.
P.S. Babe movie poster is copyright 2012 to Universal Pictures.
P.P.S. To get your downloadable Oscar scorecard, click here.