Thus begins my humour filled, but also bone-chilling, Halloween post. Yes, I can multitask with every holiday just like an old pro, and have a grand old time while doing it.
Which is my very longwinded introduction to a wonderful enterprise I inflicted (er, unleashed) upon the world last year.
My #DearTrickorTreaters Tweets!!
For several days leading up to this spooktacular event (hehehe… sorry) my twitter feed featured a whackload of jokes and gags about Halloween. Some of which were actually funny.
This year I will be replicating the #DearTrickorTreaters Tweets, and hopefully tickling your funny bone yet again.
You can follow these missives of merriment on twitter here, @Scoopriches. Enjoy!
For a taste of what to expect, here is the complete #DearTrickorTreaters tweets from last year:
Saturday, October 29th, 2011
#DearTrickorTreaters: We have lotsa and lotsa and lotsa and lotsa and lotsa candy!!! (I really really want to eat this all myself!)
#DearTrickorTreaters: That fat dude in the Star Trek outfit is me. It really has not fit me in years. Please, gently avert your eyes.
#DearTrickorTreaters: If anyone shows up dressed as Rob Ford, they will get a rock. With sincere apologies to Charlie Brown.
#DearTrickorTreaters: I wanted to go as Kat from #TheHungerGames this #Halloween, but wife said if I did, she would make me eat the berries.
#DearTrickorTreaters: The Halloween candy has been hidden by my wife somewhere in the basement. I don’t know why! (Wiping drool off face)
#DearTrickorTreaters: We have plenty of candy (that I can’t find) even enough for the #OccupyTheCapitol crowd!! (I ♥ The Hunger Games!)
Sunday, October 30th, 2011
#DearTrickorTreaters: Went looking for the candy, instead found pack of feral wolves. #sponteneaouslaidtraps
#DearTrickorTreaters: When the candy was in front of me, I tried to count it, but I am bad at math. What comes after 3?…
#DearTrickorTreaters: Every ghostorgoblin who comes by my haunt, gets to try to win my car! #offervoidwhereprohibitedbylawandcommonsense
#DearTrickorTreaters: My wife has a better idea for a contest. Every ghostorgoblin gets to watch her smack me in the head for car idea!
#DearTrickorTreaters: I have made a CD of scary sounds to play tomorrow night. They are sounds of me belching. Very loudly. It was fun.
#DearTrickorTreaters: Wife told me I can’t shoot candy into the air with a canon tomorrow night. Now I have to take canon back. Darn.
Monday, October 31st, 2011
#DearTrickorTreaters: Wife gave me 1 choc bar from hidden stash. Found out something vital, tastes better if you take wrapper off first.
#DearTrickorTreaters: Learned valuable lesson from last year. No more setting off fireworks after the first 500 ghosts and goblins.
#DearTrickorTreaters: Must entertain all the ghostsandgoblins tonight. Will juggle flaming batons. Only now recall that I can’t juggle.
#DearTrickorTreaters: So tired from Halloween prep, told wife needed some candy. She told me to get a life. Don’t know why.
#DearTrickorTreaters: If I mail ordered more candy, would it get here in time? #justcurious
#DearTrickorTreaters: Candy ready? Check! Costume on? Check? Creepy music playing? Check! Me still tweeting/fb? Check! WE’RE READY!!!!!!
#DearTrickorTreaters: And we are done and all tidied up!! We had a record-breaking 50 kids tonight!!! Some of them sane!!!
My wife just told me that if I do #DearArborDay messages, she will smack me. I wonder why.
Introducing my brand new obsession! #santacountdown !!!!!!!! Get in on the groundfloor!! YAY!!!!!!
And that’s all folks! Don’t forget to check out this year’s excitement!