For the last few years, Googliebear and I have glanced over the listings of new television shows premiering and made a choice.
The choice of what show to watch together that year.
And without fail, that sucker barely makes it to twelve episodes.
We have an uncanny gift for killing off shows. Now granted, some of these shows died a quick and quite painful death because they sucked so hard that had their own event horizon, but I prefer to believe it was mainly our viewership that drove the stake into them.
What shows, you may ask, have we murdered? Let’s start with the oldest.
No Ordinary Family hit the small screen in 2010. It starred the guy from The Shield, a blonde lady, the teen girl from the Fame remake, and a teen boy who needed a haircut. And yes I am far too lazy to google their real names. Anyway, NOF had a family gain superpowers after being exposed to some rock stuff. They have to learn to deal with each other, their powers, and an evil nefarious villain who is trying to pry their secrets from them. Bonus points for NOF from Googliebear since the villain was played by Commander Decker from Seventh Heaven. Or something like that. This show veered alot in tone and had tons of dangling plotlines that went nowhere fast. Our level of disinterest was so massive towards the end that we did not even care when we missed one of the final episodes. NOF was very DOA.
Terra Nova had Spielberg try again at television in 2011. It starred nobody we knew from anywhere at all. This one had the overpopulated Earth of the future create an interesting solution to its problems. Ship tons of people to the distant past and live in a colony surrounded by dinosaurs. One family shows up and becomes instantly embroiled in all the political shenanigans and wild adventures that the colony of Terra Nova had to offer. Besides ludicrous stories, boring characters, good ideas being waylaid, and very little internal consistency, this show shared the same sin as NOF, a tone which changed week to week. We saw every episode and we still wonder why. Terra Nova should have been dino food.
Last Resort was last year’s casualty, and the only one we truly regret is gone. Starting in 2012, it starred Pembleton from Homicide and the guy from Terminator 2. No, not him, the other guy. As I wrote already, Last Resort is about an American sub commander who defies unlawful orders to nuke someone. Going rogue, he takes the sub to a small island and sets up his own country. Much internal and political drama happens, with a huge slice of subterfuge thrown in as well. This one would have survived if HBO was its home. Still miss this gem.
So with this track record, we are taking a very serious, very studious, look at the new offerings about to hit our screens. Will it be Sleepy Hollow? Will it be The Crazy Ones? Will it be something not even on our radar right now?
And we are fully open to bribes from the networks to not watch their wares.
…is currently reading The Cuckoo’s Calling by Robert Galbraith aka J.K. Rowling.