Bad Eggs is today’s Buffy The Vampire Slayer that I go on about in my SPOILER filled My Year of Buffy.
What Buffy Did!
Buffy and her mom bicker while at the mall. Buffy is sent on an errand by her mom and spots a Vampire in a cowboy hat at the same mall. She goes to do her Slayer duties, but the Vampire gets away. After, errand incomplete, Buffy gets a lecture from her mom. Xander and Cordelia make out in a closet, then complain about each other in sex ed class. The class is assigned an egg to parent, Xander and Willow together, Buffy as a single mom because she skipped class. Giles figures out the cowboy Vampires are the Gorch brothers and they are vicious killers. At night, Buffy’s egg opens and attaches tendrils to her, which are gone by morning. Buffy and Angel talk about kids and we find out Angel can’t have children. At Sunnydale High, a security guard is taken out in the basement by the sex ed teacher. Buffy catches her egg doing weird things, hatching, and becoming an alien face hugger. She defeats it, calls Willow and does not realized she is already possessed, and gets in heckers (grounded) from her mom for being up so late. At school, Buffy doesn’t realize a whackload of students are possessed, and Xander’s egg cracks open revealing an alien thingee. Right when they are about to alien autopsy it, Willow and Cordelia knock Buffy and Xander out and stash them in a closest. Buffy’s mom shows up at the library and complains to Giles about Buffy, but is quickly possessed as well because of Giles. All the egg controlled people head to the basement and are digging out mama creature. Buffy and Xander escape and go after the creature, but she is quickly attacked by the Gorch brothers. Alternating between fighting each other and the possessed people, Buffy and Gorch sorta team-up. One Gorch brother falls into the hole and is eaten, causing the other brother to push Buffy in. The sounds of Buffy fighting the creature are heard, than everyone is suddenly freed from control, as Buffy has killed it. The last Gorch takes off and Buffy gets even more crap from her mom.
Awww, Buffy and her mom are shopping, then her mom becomes crabby again. Seems to be her default half the time. Totally did not pick up the Cowboy in mirror clue at first. I would not make a good Slayer. A Cowboy Vampire? Okay… Buffy is smart at Slaying but not so smart at mommy deceiving. I sure hope that this Xander/Cordelia romance is going somewhere. Xander’s last name is Harris! I wonder why I find this fascinating? The famous egg experiment has Buffy a single mom, making one of her nightmares come true. Giles is so clueless that he doesn’t register the egg conversation? Is this the sex and hormone episode or the cowboy cliche episode? Warning! Scary egg! Cue my skin crawling. Everything being fine in the morning makes me even more scared. The Clark Kent excuses Xander and Cordelia give are sooo lame. Vampires not being able to have kids sounds logical, and something Buffy never thought about. Making out in a graveyard is so hot – not. The plot kicks in more with the nefarious doings in the Sunnydale High basement. Buffy versus a face hunger! Even I figured out Willow is possessed. Despite my dislike of Buffy’s mom, I can understand her concern. It is interesting that she did not take Buffy to a counselor first, but instead went straight to grounding. Xander cracking the egg to eat it is silly. Teddy bear backpack losing its eyes is freaky. Am I the only picking up some sexual chemistry between Giles and Buffy’s mom? Giles being possessed made me jump. Scary as heck basement coming right up. Buffy and Gorch team-up! All against the pod people, er, citizens of Sunnydale. The creature eating Vampires is interesting. I wonder if Boba Fett is down there? And Buffy wins with a pickaxe! That makes her even more badass. Buffy’s mom is an idiot, but an understandable idiot. Buffy is now on Double Secret Probation. And already kinda sorta breaking it with Angel.
Buffy gets no end of crud from her mom when in secret Slaying causes her to miss picking up the drycleaning, which makes her mother saying this to Buffy kinda hurt, “A little responsibility, that’s all I ask.” And Buffy is more gently taken to task by Willow for missing class, giving us this line, “Tardy people show.” Willow again gets in a line, this time to Xander, who cooked his egg, “You boiled your young?” And when Xander wakes up and almost blows the cover off of his relationship with Cordelia to Buffy, he covers quickly with, “Crazy talk. Head trauma.”
This one felt a bit muddled, with sex, lust, parenting, and dumb cowboy Vampires all smushed in here. Several glorious moments are broken up by too much Xander / Cordelia stupidity and waaay too much of those moronic Gorch brothers. Hope the Cowboys, er, Cowboy, never return.
…is currently reading Schultz and Peanuts by David Michaelis