Happy Birthday to Buffy The Vampire Slayer! Hope you have a great eighteenth in this adventure called Helpless. All part of my stream of SPOILER filled My Year of Buffy posts!
What Buffy Did!
Buffy and Angel play fight, then Buffy talks of going to the ice show with her father for her 18th birthday. Later Giles is helping Buffy study crystals and she has trouble concentrating. After on patrol, Buffy feels weak and almost dies fighting a Vampire. Buffy tells Giles her problems. Quentin Travers, the lead Watcher, is doing something mysterious with a large box and two men in the basement of a scary house. Giles disagrees with what they are planning, a Watcher tradition, of temporarily depowering a Slayer on their 18th birthday and having them fight a psychotic Vampire. This wacko is called Zachary Kralik and was a killer even before being a Vampire. Buffy finds out her father is not coming for her birthday, so she tries to convince Giles to come instead. He is more interested in having Buffy study the crystals, whom he hypnotizes, then injects something into. Cordelia gets attitude from a jerk, and when Buffy tries to help, she is knocked down easily. This freaks her out more. Angel gives Buffy her birthday gift, the book Sonnets From the Portuguese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Angel reveals to a bummed out Buffy that he saw her when she was called, all those short years ago, and loved her right away. Kralik breaks out of his straightjacket and turns one of his jailors into a Vampire, the other is killed. Giles shows up and sees the carnage and realizes Kralik has escaped. Buffy is scared walking home by herself when Kralik finds her and chases her, with Giles saving her. He tells her of the test and she is pissed. Kralik goes to Buffy’s house and captures Joyce. Buffy comes home, finds out her mother is kidnapped, and sets outs on her own to save her. Buffy gets to the house and beats one Vampire and is then chased by Kralik around this scary house of horrors. Eventually Kralik needs his pills and Buffy steals them. She finds Joyce, than Kralik shows up and gets the pills from her. Kralik takes the pills with some water, then feels funny. Buffy has switched the water for holy water. And Kralik explodes. And Giles shows up and stakes the other Vampire. After, Quentin says Buffy passed and is sorry for Joyce’s involvement. Buffy tells Quentin off. Then Quentin fires Giles, saying he is too emotionally involved as a Watcher. Quentin states a new Watcher will be sent soon. Buffy celebrates her 18th with her friends, making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Buffy and Angel practice fight. And enjoy it. It’s Buffy’s birthday! Time for a disaster! Buffy’s father is coming! More Slayer training with Giles, aka Captain Fun. Faith mention! She just takes off a lot? Buffy is having trouble fighting a Vampire? And Buffy gets her Buffyness back just in time! Giles seems remarkably blaisse about Buffy’s lack of aim. Buffy’s father ditches? That sucks! Okay, scary big box in spooky basement. Get the hint Giles, she wants you to take her to the ice capades! What in the name of the Hellmouth is Giles doing? Hypnotizing and injecting! Amy is still a rat? Buffy couldn’t take down a bully? Holy crap! I am starting to really to hate Giles here. Wait wait wait. The Watchers are doing this on purpose? A test for her 18th birthday? Yeah, that screaming wasn’t scary at all. These Watchers are nuts! Feeding a prisoner like that. Love the Superman Kryptonite stuff. Knew that guy was gonna get loose. Knew that other guy was stupid and gonna die. Angel gives the best gifts, an old book. Buffy pours her heart out to Angel and Angel reveals how he saw her years ago, pre Slaying. So the guy just became a Vampie right in front of us? Never seen that before. Giles run! Blood on the bannister is never a good sign! Even Giles is grossed out? This Vampire must be Angelus level nasty. So instead of facing one Vampire in a controlled test, Buffy faces two in an uncontrolled chaos. Buffy is really feeling the loss of power. Giles explains the Watchers insane test. Zachary is a Vampire and a psycho. Love how he can’t even face her. Cordelia walks in just in time. And even Cordelia knows something is wrong, well, eventually. Zachary is darn scary with Joyce. Polaroid! Hello 1990’s! And that was a scary pic. Buffy is really using her head going into the scary house. Buffy meets Silence of the Lambs. Fighting with a bookcase is different. Seriously had to watch this part with the lights on. Okay, this is one sick Vampire, enjoying a cross charring him. Great, the room with his victims pictures in it. Buffy took his meds! Betcha she replaced them with something else. Nope! Holy water! That bastard deserved that. And Giles saves her from the other Vampire. Quentin should be kicked in the nuts by Buffy, multiple times. Giles is fired as a Watcher?? And a new Watcher is coming?? These council guys are complete asshats. And Giles cares for Buffy, just like a father would/should. How many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are they making?
Buffy asks a Buffy style question of Giles with, “How do you know if someone’s aura is dirty?” Xander asks a very important question to the Scoobie with, “Where is it written that quiet reflection can’t be combined with cake and funny hats.” And Xander also provides a very geeky explanation to Buffy’s problems, “Maybe what we should be looking for is like Slayer Kryptonite.” Two Vampires talk in the night, and here is what they say, “Why don’t you call your friend in here and we will discuss it over dinner.” Buffy expresses her disgust at what Giles did with, “Who are you? How could you do this to me?” Buffy tells Quentin exactly how she feels with, “Interestingly, I don’t give a rat’s ass about the councils orders.” And Buffy gives some good advice to Quentin with, “I think you should leave town before I get my strength back.” And Buffy’s last line to Quentin? “Bite me.”
Happy Birthday Buffy! Hope you liked the councils wacky present. So like that ST TNG episode with Luxwanna Trio rallying against an inhumane “tradition”, we get Giles protesting the same thing her. All to prevent Buffy from becoming Clarice the Slayer. Scary, scary stuff, with the killer and the council both.
…is currently reading Fables v. 19 Snow White by Bill Willingham and Cinderella Fables are Forever by Chris Roberson.