The Annotated The Passport To The Wall, Part 5, Chapters 14 to 21

Passport To The Wall Anotated 1

More Annotations! More bullet points!

I already covered the start of the idea, and who ILONA is, Chapters 1 to 4, and Chapters 5 to 13.


Chapter Fourteen: The Smell of a Hug. ACT I of WE LOVE ALL

• Having multi part story arcs was built into Passport right from the beginning. Along with the aforementioned crossovers. And the reveal that Susan was a partially closeted lesbian. All this came together quite nicely in this four chapter nugget.

• Moving the action at lightspeed to ILONA and Joshua in the office was paramount.

• ILONA meets the world famous Joshua for the first time. See The Chat.

• People who use twitter will understand the real reference.

• Joshua hugs ILONA. And he is a real man. And she breathes in his smell.

• So even the school receptionist Mrs. Travis doesn’t like Mr. Micheals.

• Whenever I create a new supporting character like Mrs. Travis, I head to google to craft something that fits their role in the story. Travis means crossroads.

• And now a quick update on ILONA, how much time has gone by, and how she is now online.

• Of course Joshua, Tracey, and Sarah invented the group high five. Or did they?

• First Harry Potter reference.

• Joshua had Mr. Micheals as well. Hates him as well.

• ILONA now has her first crush.

• Song For This Chapter: Drove Me Wild by Tegan and Sara, Because Joshua obviously drove ILONA wild.


Chapter Fifteen: Standing Together. ACT II of WE LOVE ALL

• For Googliebear, an Elvis reference.

• Right away we see that saying Joshua’s name causes trouble with the friends, all because of Mr. Micheals.

• Joshua has a secret that all the girls know but ILONA.

• Cynthia gently singing Stand By Me struck me as calming. And it was her parents wedding song.

• But of course Mr. Micheals overhears that Joshua was at SummerFall that morning.

• I really wanted to bring fear to the end here. Mr. Micheals obviously has issues and ILONA is right to be scared.

• Song For This Chapter: Stand By Me by Ben E King. Seemed like a no-brainer.


Chapter Sixteen: Hell. Act III of WE LOVE ALL

• It’s always horrible waiting for the shoe to drop.

• Mr. Micheals just proclaimed himself a man who is not cruel or unjust. Feels like something someone would say right before they acted cruel and unjust.

• Whenever someone use the word professional this way, you know they are not acting professionally.

• The D-I-K-E, D-Y-K-E idea came to me as a horrific way to do all I wanted with this four parter and more.

• And singling out Susan to spell dyke in front of the class is the sort of thing Mr. Micheals would do, all to humiliate and harass the girl. I had a teacher in middle school who did almost the exact same thing to a person in my class, causing the child to cry and the teacher to act like it was the kids fault. I was not scared, but felt badly for the student, who I could tell was massively hurt. It was an absolute travesty and not the last time this teacher acted terribly.

• Song For This Chapter: Hurt by Nine Inch Nails. Mr. Micheals is really hurting himself here, just like so many other people who espouse homophobia. The man needs help.


Chapter Seventeen: Bringing Susan Justice. Act IV of WE LOVE ALL

• It is sad that Susan has to remain so stoic during this entire time.

• Madison comes up with the plan, and gets Susan and Cynthia’s approval, before sending it off to Tracey. The victim and the conscious have the final say.

• Cynthia as the moral compass leads the friends in revenge, which all agree to, eventhough most don’t know the plans.

• Madison’s ringtone is a french horn doing the wa-wa sound.

• ILONA meets Tracey, Clara’s older sister. And witnesses several family interactions.

• ILONA is told by Joshua that he is gay.

• And she wants to hug him, as she slowly gets over her crush.

• ILONA now switches from Joshua to Josh. She never refers to him as Joshua again.

• Susan reveals to ILONA that she is a lesbian.

• Yes, that is Spock’s dying words to Kirk in Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan.

• It was then that I carried you is from the Footprints poem.

• The strike force gives Mr. Micheals four flat tires. Using vandalism to get back at a mean teacher struck me as an interesting commentary. Were the kids right?

• And ILONA is fine with it. A week ago, she would never have taken part, now she considers it duty as a friend.

• Having a diverse cast with personalities and viewpoints and sexual orientations was a priority for me. Susan being a lesbian, and the friends not caring, is thankfully where so many young people are these days. Joshua was established as gay in The Chat.

• Song For This Chapter: Rise Up by Parachute Club. One of the anthems of the Gay Pride Movement.


Chapter Eighteen: The Invitation

• Collette’s eleventh birthday party invite. Part of the plan was to feature the friends birthdays and Collette is the first one. Also, wanted lots of sleepovers.

• The money issues with ILONA getting Collette a gift causes distress.

• The time frame is established as being early October.

• Madison’s cat is named Hermione. Which is so Madison.

• Sleepover is at Cynthia’s house. All because she is the den mother.

• Hunger Games mention.

• ILONA is handed Harry Potter. And it will change her life just like it changed mine.

• Mr. Micheals has calmed down.

• ILONA’s mom would read all the same books her daughter reads.

• Song For This Chapter: Goin’ Back To Hogwarts by Starkid. ILONA is about to go to Hogwarts, don’t you wish you were going with her?


Chapter Nineteen: Cake and Whispering in the Middle of the Night

• Originally I was going to show the party and all the crazy fun and shenanigans, but as I got closer to the writing stage decided to switch it up and have a close intimate one on one conversation between ILONA and her closet new friend Cynthia featured instead.

• Madison having jumped off the garage roof onto a trampoline is something a friend of mine did once.

• Cynthia, when asked by ILONA, tries to define her role with the friends. She is their leader, but not their dictator. Really tried to define Cynthia’s life views here.

• ILONA asks the question I am sure the readers have wondered about. Why did they accept ILONA as a friend?

• Song For This Chapter: Live Is Life by Opus. I used to always sing this song endlessly, almost like an anthem, all during College.


Chapter Twenty: Apologies.

• Cynthia feeling guilty about not already being ILONA’s friend was an interesting concept. Even feeling very emotionally upset by it. Cynthia blames herself for not seeing, and curing, ILONA’s problems earlier.

• And ILONA sees her first meeting with the girls from their point of view.

• Destiny and Chance. Cynthia thinks her destiny was to find ILONA, but ILONA says her destiny was hers to shape. Maybe it was chance that ILONA found the girls? Many questions…

• Actually thought doing a whole chapter with ILONA and Cynthia discussing God.

• The Hogwarts birthday balloon was something I saw on facebook and knew it would fit in here perfectly.

• Song For This Chapter: One of Us by Joan Osborne. The classic song about God.


Chapter Twenty-One: Happy Halloween!

• This chapter was in the original design and I spent an unfathomable amount of time brainstorming which girl would wear which costume. Like seriously, it became a huge part of my thought process for awhile. Especially what ILONA would go out as.

• This chapter was also one of the fastest for me to write. I don’t recall exactly how long I worked on it, but this one just flowed out of me.

• This would also be ILONA’s first Halloween not trick or treating with her parents, a concept that would cause them to call her repeatedly. A recurring motif that would slightly irritate our heroine.

• Clara is Wonder Woman. Fits her geek roots. And trying to get the lasso to work.

• Collette losing her deerstalker hat not only gives you a clue as to who she is, but also provides a humouress thread for the chapter.

• Collette is Sherlock Holmes. She would love trying to outsmart the character and solving the crime first.

• Susan is Doctor Who. Tennant of course. And she goes to help find the missing hat.

• Madison smashes in, cackling, and provides obscure clues to the obscure character she is playing tonight.

• Clara mentions throwing Madison into the sun. I got this idea from the Two True Freaks podcast and the Tales From The Longbox Podcast, who always state that Superman should throw the Steve Lombard character into the sun. And they are right.

• Shout-out to one of my favourite Wonder Woman writers, Greg Rucka.

• Madison is Witchiepoo from Puff ‘n’ Stuff. Witchiepoo is the nasty witch in the early 1970’s children’s movie Puff ‘n’ Stuff, which is a musical and garish and psychedelic and over the top and completely nuts. Needless to save, it is one of my favourite movies of all time. And needless to say, Googliebear hates it with a passion of a thousand fiery suns.

• Cynthia being the one to calm the parents down struck me as logical.

• Tracey as Catwoman. And has the hat.

• Had to use the cat had the hat line. Because I am evil.

• Tracey takes a group picture of the girls.

• ILONA is Luna Lovegood. Felt that she would like the friendship, gentleness and oddness Luna embodied.

• Song For This Chapter: Monster Mash by Bobby “Boris” Pickett. Gotta be Monster Mash for Halloween.


Another dispatch done! Hope you enjoyed.

Till next time!


…is currently reading Men From Earth by Buzz Aldrin and Malcolm McConnell

P.S. You can read The Passport To The Wall on Wattpad!




About scoopsmentalpropaganda

Married to beautiful wife. Always learning a ton of stuff. Geek with too much useless knowledge. fb page:!/pages/Scoops-Mental-Propaganda/192314550819647 twitter & twitpic: Scoopriches AboutMe Page: This site is an @Scoopriches production
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