The Annotated The Passport To The Wall, Part 11, Chapters 51 to 52+1

Passport To The Wall Anotated 1

Final Annotations! Final bullet points! Final Fun! One Final Time!

Already covered the start of the idea, and who ILONA is, Chapters 1 to 4, Chapters 5 to 13, Chapters 14 to 21, Chapters 22 to 29, Chapters 30 to 35, Chapters 36 to 39, Chapters 40 to 43, Chapters 44 to 47, and Chapters 48 to 50.



• Susan’s Lost finale fanfic is doing better and better. And she is very very proud.

• Samantha has headed home last week, which gives Susan a sadface.

• But remember, Susan and Samantha will always have skype.

• Luke compares Collette to Dumbledore and his sister Kimberly. Seems kind of fitting.

• Luke has never read Harry Potter, only seen the movies. Now he is reading them.

• So Collette is hanging out quite a bit with Kimberly and April.

• It’s true. Madison and Clara forgot to give ILONA and Jackson a shipping name.

• I originally planned on the Trident movie making 400 million after just over a week. After awhile I realized how laughably low that was. So I just kept raising it and raising it and raising it.

• And the movie is, of course, getting nothing but positive glowing reviews.

• Losing old friends because you did the right thing. Everyone can relate to this.

• Cecily update! She is a skype machine now, living with cousins in Vancouver. And her prolonged silence was because her new guardians wanted her to get settled first. So nothing nefarious thankfully.

• ILONA analyzes Cynthia. Not sitting against the wall, having ILONA hold the laptop, tons of tabs open in the browser. Her friend is worried.

• All because Cara is meeting with her father Nicholas at that moment. The Long Drive To Nowhere and Finding Sally finally meet.

• Cynthia reminds ILONA of how far she has come since September.

• Now Clara and Madison are ranting about bacon. I also thought it would be fun to have Clara riding around on Madison’s back.

• A bacon app would be awesome.

• And the meeting between Cara and Nicholas went well. She now has a family. And a new life.

• I think I have used this duh joke about fifty times now.

• ILONA gets a reply letter from the writer of the book with the man with the Trident on the cover.

• Who hasn’t opened an important envelope like this?

• Remember, there are two pieces of paper in the envelope.

• The writer’s letter was interesting for me. This was always a part of the plan and everything came together rather well leading up to this. I completed writing one night, right up to the start of the letter, and knew what I wanted to do. And that included still not naming the author or the real book title. In every short story and in Passport, the book was always referred to as the book with the man with the trident on the cover, and the author never named. But as I went to bed, I realized this idea of mine would have to halt with this chapter. This letter had to be sincere from the author, so that meant being straightforward and saying her name and the real book title. So the next morning I spent a considerable amount of time creating the writer’s name and the book series titles.

• My quest for diversity had made me realize that in the creation of Passport, I had missed the opportunity to prominently feature a character who is Muslim. As I stated earlier, I almost switched Cecily, but stuck to my original plan. After extensive googling and trying various iterations, I had found my Trident author. Welcome to Passport, Nadia Raja Noor. A hopeful sounding name for someone celebrating a new life.

• ILONA, in her pre Trident days, thought there were five books in the series. It was always my intention there was three books in my imaginary series. So when Googliebear and I took Lexie The Wonder Puppy out for a walk, we brainstormed the actual titles. So the book with the man with the Trident on the cover became: The Rise of the Trident, The Release of the Trident, and The Rebirth of the Trident.

• Nadia even mentions how people call her book the book with the man with the Trident on the cover. And she blames the internet of course. And the internet is probably to blame.

• I wrote the first draft of Nadia’s letter, all based on my notes, and did not like it. With a massive rewrite and reorganization, the letter became longer, and in my humble opinion, better. The notes I went in with were still used, but my first execution of this very crucial aspect of Passport did not utilize them well.

• Nadia congratulates ILONA for changing her life, starting a new life, all thanks to the Trident book series.

• Nadia calls how ILONA used the book as a passport to the wall. Just had to throw that in.

• The “hey you” and “stop that” bit is a variation of the old Bill Crosby routine.

• Nadia giving credit to ILONA’s parents, had to put that in.

• Nadia spent years and years writing, all to become the Trident writer.

• Everyone who have met favourite creators have experienced ones who are complete and utter jerks.

• I had a lot of fun making up these little bits of the Trident books. Kron Garr sounds so dashing!

• Your journey to becoming a writer. Nadia just encapsulated one of the journeys ILONA was on in her new life.

• A quick overview of all of Passport up till ILONA sent her letter.

• Nadia orders ILONA to become a writer. Demands it. Threatens her. That means she has to do it, doesn’t it?

• And ILONA is of course in shock.

• Her parents are very supportive of course.

• Here I list the names of every author ILONA has read this year.

• Why yes, ILONA read Nadia’s letter at the same kitchen table where she asked for Nadia’s book.

• Song For This Chapter: Love… Thy Will Be Done by Martika. A prayer like song.


Chapter Fifty-Two: ILONA and the WALL   ACT V of VI of A FAREWELL TO GRADE FIVE

• This is the longest chapter of Passport, weighing in at over 6,000 words.

• Felt weird knowing this might be the final time writing Cynthia, Madison, Clara, Susan, Collette, Cara, Luke, and Cecily.

• Wanted to start off with Cecily skyping in.

• ILONA is experiencing second thoughts. Which is not surprising.

• Potato chicken. A recipe invented by Googliebear.

• ILONA’s desktop picture is of her and her friends at Halloween.

• Of course ILONA was reading Zen In The Art Of Writing when Nadia’s letter showed up.

• Why yes, ILONA just pulled a Margaret and talked to God.

• I loved writing ILONA’s speech to Good.

• ILONA dreams of dancing books. Again. This time to ones written by her.

• Today is the last day of grade five.

• Last time she quadruple checked her schoolbag, it was for the Trident book, now it is for Nadia’s letter.

• ILONA had to ride her bike to her last day at SummerFall Junior School.

• And now Clara and Madison are shouting strawberries.

• Love how the friends have figured out how to hack the schools wi-fi. I think all kids know how to do this nowadays.

• Samantha skypes in.

• Cynthia and Collette’s birthdays are coming very soon. And they were born two days apart.

• Mr. Micheals being nice. Mr. Micheals has seen Clara’s Corner. And Mr. Micheals wishes happiness to Susan and Samantha.

• And Susan finally forgives Mr. Micheals.

• Susan’s desktop picture is of her and Samantha at the Trident movie premiere.

• The friends final lunch time at the wall.

• Always wondered who would be the first to cry. And having Clara and Madison hold the hug was sweet.

• Collette may be smart, but not very swift. And kissing behind the shed in the park is cute.

• Cara is getting good at reading people. Or maybe she looks out for ILONA because of all she has done for her?

• Luke would take a second or two to clue into who Nadia is.

• Cue shocked friends.

• Collette is actually the first character to call the books their proper names.

• Cue chocked friends over Nadia’s message to ILONA.

• Collette points out that technically, the book was not a passport.

• Susan gives enormous credit to ILONA’s work on her Lost finale fanfic.

• ILONA’s confesses her self doubts.

• Admitting your destiny to your friends is always difficult.

• Cynthia gives ILONA one last heartfelt pep talk. Because she is Cynthia.

• And Cara gives her pep talk as well. She has come a long way.

• Oh yeah, ILONA forgot to tell her friends about the poem. Remember Nadia sent two pieces of paper.

• Cue chocked friends again.

• Cynthia taught Clara how to read by reading to her.

• This is an actual poem from ancient China. I first saw it twenty years ago on a wooden plaque that I bought. It now hangs in our bedroom.

• ILONA now tells her friends she is a writer.

• Tevye and his Daughters mentioned. This is the play Fiddler on the Roof is based upon. Remember Collette was going to loan ILONA this waaaaay back when?

• I almost did this as a storyline where ILONA would start reading a book, then be asked to guess the ending. Decided to drop it early on, before the first chapter was launched, because I felt I had a lot of material already. I realized Cara would be an excellent way to revive this idea, so I went for it.

• And Jackson sends one final note to ILONA.

• The next schools names are WinterSpring Middle School for grades six to eight and Trudeau High School for grades nine to twelve.

• The school names were picked by a school trustee in the 1960’s. His name is on a plaque by the front door, as first mentioned in Say Hello To The Clouds For Me.

• Only Cynthia would say Amen after the last group high five at the wall.

• Knew I had to have Mr. Micheals attempt flipping the chalk one more time. And this time succeed.

• Conga line of gratitude is definitely a Madison invention.

• Make good art. Mrs. Shuster’s advice is actually from Neil Gaiman.

• Mrs. Travis is not yet forty. At least that dangling plot thread is all tied up!

• Jacob Two-Two mentioned.

• Collette just found out, quite by accident, that her parents are having another child, making her a big sister to be.

• And Luke a brother-in-law to be.

• And the friends go to the wall for the finale time as students of SummerFall.

• I really tried to put a lot of thought into what each of the friends final lines would be in Passport. I really like the results.

• Knew Madison would hug the wall.

• Will someone take over the wall? Make it a great place for friendship and reading and kabooms?

• Simon the bully says “I hope I will.” Cue shock.

• ILONA has never talked to Simon since the fight.

• Simon apologizes and even mentions his father. Looks like someone is healing and learning.

• Susan is certainly in a forgiving mood today. And offering help.

• Simon wants to read at the wall with his friends next year. The tradition continues!

• Simon quotes Mrs. Chase: Read. Learn. Heal. Love.

• Love how Simon is still a teeny bit scared of ILONA.

• Mrs. Chase also gave The Diary of Anne Frank to Simon.

• Which causes ILONA to hug Simon. And they apologize to each other.

• Mrs. Chase is truly an angel. Yes, you are right Cynthia.

• Cara’s ringtone is Amazing Grace, done by bagpipes. Just like in Spock’s funeral scene in Start Trek II The Wrath of Khan. You notice how both Cara and Cecily, who stayed with Cynthia as foster kids, got ringtones with variations of Amazing Grace?

• Cara now calls Cynthia’s mom Mama, just like how Cynthia and Cecily do.

• And Cara is excited to have dinner with her dad. She has done a lot of healing.

• Clara sets up the camera for a group picture at the wall.

• Had a lot of fun setting up this group pic. Clara on Madison’s back, Collette and Luke hug, Cynthia with her arms around ILONA and Cara, and Susan squatting up front with arms spread wide.

• Say book with the man with the trident on the cover! That sounds right for these friends.

• Time for one last group hug and group high five.

• And now Cynthia, Madison, Clara, Susan, Collette, Cara, and Luke have exited Passport. Godspeed old friends.

• Mrs. Aurora gives ILONA a goodbye and some love advice.

• Always planned to have ILONA to say goodbye and thanks to the wall all by herself.

• Now time for one more twist. ILONA’s parents are expecting. Time for shocked ILONA.

• And ILONA brings up the big issue: Money.

• And Mary explains the new money situation in the family. Remember, she got a used bike at Christmas, which should have been a clue to her that things were better. Also, her parents have been looking for better employment.

• Originally, I had Mary and George working as cleaners, but as Passport rolled along I grew dissatisfied with those career choices for them. After some brainstorming with Googlebear, we changed Mary to working at a coffee cart in an office tower and George hating being at a drycleaner in the same tower.

• Cynthia’s family likes to help try fix everything don’t they?

• Parents: We want to keep adult issues away from our twelve year old child. Child: I am old enough to understand, so stop treating me like a child. Both have a point.

• ILONA’s right, dancing in the kitchen should never be rare.

• All doubts finally leave ILONA.

• The La Vita Nuova poem in it’s entirety. Time for ILONA to begin another new life.

• Had to mention, not just the poem, but the book ILONA is currently reading, and the bookmark which is the slip of paper with all her friends phone numbers on it, one more time.

• ILONA sees her reflection in the laptop screen again. And this time interprets it differently.

• The first story ILONA decides to write: The Passport To The Wall by Ilona Stone.

• This ending was always the end goal. To have this shy troubled girl grow into an outgoing happy youngster, and go from reader to writer.

• Making her first story her actual story may be meta, but I always liked the idea.

• ILONA’s last name is finally given. Stone. This is part of the bigger picture.

• Song For This Chapter: The Circle Game by Joni Mitchell. The quintessential moving on/graduation song by the Canadian artist. I listened to this 166 times on itunes while writing this chapter.



• ILONA wandering the SummerFall schoolyard, talking to Arlene.

• Of course ILONA talks to Arlene all the time. But SummerFall is a special place after all.

• Updates!

• ILONA’s and Arlene’s mom is doing well with the pregnancy, but they don’t want to know the gender. Do you think ILONA has a baby sister or a baby brother on the way?

• Mary is now working as a receptionist and George is now doing general office work for Cynthia’s dad’s law firm.

• Cynthia is volunteering everywhere. Clearing parks, helping animals, and at a food bank where she sees…

• Mr. Micheals! Who is also volunteering. He really has changed.

• Madison leaped off the garage again, onto a trampoline again, Her Guardian Angel must be working overtime!

• Clara is youtubing everywhere, including Maddie’s leap. Also filming a fanfic involving Judy Blume. Praise Be Her Name!

• Susan is visiting Samantha in Los Angelas, and plans to write more fanfic with ILONA.

• Collette is looking forward to her new little brother, and her dad is now rich thanks to Cara’s app.

• Luke admits that Jason prepped him to ask Collette out, something Collette already figured out. This is something I tried to fit into chapter fifty, but couldn’t.

• Cara is rich from her app, with all the money in a trust fund just like it would be. And Cara and Nicholas are really getting along.

• Cecily is into karate now, and kicking way over her head.

• Simon and ILONA are taking now, and it is about books. And her mom thinks the romantic sparks might be flying between the two, which ILONA thinks is nuts. But is it? I wonder how many couples have met because of turmoil?

• Jackson wants a smartphone. All because Josh put him up to it.

• Josh wants to work at a teen crisis center. And his current boss is a jerk. I think we got that impression from the ending of Say Hello To The Clouds For Me.

• Tracey is helping Sarah launch a jewellery business.

• Joy and Lidia are taking ILONA to meet Margaret. And euchre is being taught, with maybe a tournament in the future?

• Jason got his family guitar back. Kimberly is studying to be a doctor.

• Sleepover for Cynthia’s and Susan’s birthday. With Cynthia’s brothers, water balloons, and confetti. and no one is surprised.

• ILONA’s birthday is coming up and a secret party is being planned.

• Latveria is the country Dr Doom runs in Marvel Comics.

• Valley Girl is an early 1980’s song by Moon Unit Zappa, the thirteen year old daughter of deceased music legend Frank Zappa. The song is funny and slightly annoying, and Moon Unit received death threats over it.

• It is true, ILONA will soon be a teenager.

• ILONA is still writing, and describes it so well.

• All these updates were remarkably easy, since they all just fit the characters so well.

• And now, Elinor from Say Hello To The Clouds For Me, shows up. This part of the plan came together so well, with the story of Elinor and her first look at SummerFall Junior School meeting up with ILONA who has just left SummerFall, giving a circle of life vibe to the whole saga.

• Yes, I did copy EVERYTHING from Say Hello To The Clouds For Me over and rejigged it all to be from ILONA’s point of view.

• And ILONA has no clue the man in the store is Josh.

• ILONA notices that Elinor’s dad is black, and Elinor looks mulatto, so figures Elinor’s mom is white. ILONA is right. And this was always part of the long term plan.

• Saying Hello To The Clouds together.

• Elinor’s ancestor was the school trustee who got SummerFall built back in the 1960’s.

• Official introductions! ILONA meet Elinor! Elinor meet ILONA!

• Elinor is starting Kindergarten in September, and ILONA feels bad she won’t be there.

• Will the Grade Five Reading Partnership team up Elinor and Simon? And will romance bloom again?

• ILONA is going to introduce Elinor to her friends still at SummerFall.

• The doo doo song, as Elinor calls it in Say Hello To The Clouds For Me and never properly identified, is actually Music Box Dancer, a piano tune by Canadian performer Frank Mills. Googliebear nicknamed it the doo doo song and we played it at our wedding.

• ILONA and Elinor dancing and bopping to the doo doo song gave me warm smiles.

• ILONA and Elinor. The beginnings of a new friendship.

• ILONA talks again to Arlene. And asks her to look after Elinor next year.

• And a sunbeam is Arlene’s reply.

• ILONA’s new life keeps moving on.

• Song For This Chapter: Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell and Clannad. I have always loved this song, originally by the Canadian artist Joni Mitchell, and this version by Clannad really makes this song sing even more.


Wow, and now all the annotations are done!

I hope everyone enjoyed my crazed look back at my first book, and all my ramblings and explanations and confessionals. It was even more fun revisiting it, all these months later,

Thanks for reading! And ILONA thanks you as well!


…is currently reading Friday Night Lights by H.G. Bissinger


P.S. You can read The Passport To The Wall on Wattpad!




About scoopsmentalpropaganda

Married to beautiful wife. Always learning a ton of stuff. Geek with too much useless knowledge. fb page:!/pages/Scoops-Mental-Propaganda/192314550819647 twitter & twitpic: Scoopriches AboutMe Page: This site is an @Scoopriches production
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