Buffy attends the Wedding of the Century as Xander and Anya are going to get hitched. All in Hell’s Bells, a something old, new and definitely not blue post in my SPOILER filled My Year of Buffy!
What Buffy Did!
Buffy and Willow talk about dresses and the rehearsal dinner for Xander’s and Anya’s wedding. The guests were told Anya’s demon friends were circus people. Willow is best man. Xander has lots of wedding guests in his apartment, including his never before seen parents. And his relatives are alcoholics. An old man pops up in Sunnydale. The Scoobies get ready for the wedding. The guests arrive and some are annoying. Spike brings his date, a goth girl. Xander’s drunken father gives a terrible toast. The old man arrives and tells Xander that he is future Xander. And the wedding must not happen. He gives Xander a crystal ball that shows the future. Xander is yelling at Anya while the kids are brats. Anya works and Xander is an unemployed bum. The fight over Xander being hurt while working with Buffy, who is now dead. Next Xander and Anya argue with their teen kids and Xander drinks too much. Next Anya shouts at Xander for wrecking her life, and Xander kills Anya. Back to the wedding and Xander cannot believe it. Last minute preps go on for the wedding. Willow tells Buffy that Xander has taken off. Willow goes looking for Xander while Buffy stalls the guests. Xander wanders the streets in the rain. Anya finds out Xander has bolted. Xander’s father starts a fight with a demon and the whole wedding breaks into huge brawl. Willow saves Tara. Anya finds out old man talked to Xander and wants to know what happened. Turns out future Xander is really a demon who is pissed at Anya and lied to Xander. Buffy fights the demon. Xander comes back and talks with Anya. The wedding calms down. Xander breaks up with Anya, all because he thinks he will become his father. Xander goes to a hotel. Anya is hurt and her former demon boss offers Anya her demon job back.
You just know it is the bridesmaids dresses they are talking about. Blood larvae and burlap? Rehearsal dinner sounded interesting. And saying the demon folk guests are actually circus people really kinda works. Willow had a Bat Mitzvah. And all the alcoholics on Xander’s side. Of course Anya loves the dresses. Uncle Rory, not funny. These Xander’s parents? Yep. And really annoying and jerk like. Why did Xander invite these asses. All done in front of a kid. Uh oh, creepy old man just showed up in the rain. That’s the point of a cumberbund? So no one sees where your pants meets your shirt? No Giles guest starring as a wedding guest. Love how Xander made Willow his best man. Totally fits. Love the looks Willow and Tara exchange. Anya, don’t write your own vows. Love how excited Anya is. I hope Uncle Rory dies. Head vengeance demon! Dawn not happy to see Hallie the demon. Of course Spike brings a trashy date. Was Angel and Angel Investigations invited? Xander’s parents are jerks and not funny. Is that old man really Xander from the future? Called it! Hey look, a glowy snowglobe! Xander’s dad should have his neck snapped. Xander’s dad actually paid for the wedding? Future Xander has no career, Anya works all the time, the kids are brats, the place is a mess, and Buffy is dead? This sucks and is depressing. And Xander is a drunk as well. Anya cheated? So Xander killed Anya thirty years from now? What a touching love story…. not. And now for another touching love story… not. Buffy and Spike. So Spike is happy that Buffy admits the breakup hurt. Does Xander actually believe this guy claiming to be future him? And not check with the Scoobies to see if it is real? Sex poodle? Xander skeedadled! Buffy, stop talking. Walking in the rain in a tux is so sad. The demon and the human giving each other the googlie eyes is cute. Anya fell for that excuse? Buffy to delay the crowd! Is Dawn gonna hook up with this demon guy? Buffy is doing charades? Juggling? Good one Dawn! Are the two sides gonna fight now? This is silly. Willow and Tara, almost back together. Future Xander looks so smug and happy. Anya and Future Xander have it out. Knew he was really a demon! Knew they were phony visions! Buffy to the rescue! Xander! And he knows the truth! They all thought it was a wedding show? Is anyone else waiting for it to go poof? I can tell from Xander’s look that he is about to break up with her. Because he is an idiot. And he is scared by a possible, maybe future. And his parents own disaster of a marriage. Just when I thought Xander was finally growing up. That was a sad wedding march. Buffy, Willow, and Dawn looking all sad. Xander in a hotel. Anya very crying. Will Anya go back to being a vengeance demon?
Buffy explains who she is to Willow “I’m… Buffy the bridesmaid.” Dawn tells Buffy about Spike “Hey Buffy, Spike’s here and he brought a total skank.” Buffy talks about clothing to Spike with “That’s because the dress is radioactive.” Willow tells the Scoobies how to save the day with “Maybe we can cover it with flowers?”
I like how Xander, one of my least favourite characters, has grown up so much lately. Then he pulls this immature crap and I really hope Anya magics his butt in vengeance. The jerk is a jerk.
…is currently reading my pile of Mad Magazines from 2014!