Chapter 35: Clara’s Corner Versus The Truth!
“So let us review Operation Double Fudge one more time before we begin,” Clara says to her assembled friends.
All are sitting on the floor of what, to the untrained eye, looks like a strangely rearranged rec room, but to those who have vision, it is a YouTube set of Justice. A look of controlled chaos Ilona loves.
“I still wanna call it Operation Superfudge!” Madison whines, “And so does Hermione!” She holds up her cat, still bored by everything. Cynthia waves at the cat.
Clara points her wand at Madison. “My mission. My birthday. My show. My author. And…” she aims the wand at the digital camera, set-up on the tripod nearby, “My quest for justice!”
“Oooh, Hermione likes quests! High five Cecily!” Madison takes her cats paw and has it “slap” Cecily’s hand, causing much giggling from the girls, and a whatever look from Hermione.
Clara sighs, than swings her wand at the laptop awaiting her on the table. “Operation Double Fudge started last week, when Collette was informed by a boy in her class,” she taps a button and a picture of a smiling boy with an equally smiling Collette fills the screen, “Luke, told her about this YouTube show he had found that did an episode awhile back about one of our heroines, Judy Blume.”
Jumping up beside Clara is Madison, still holding an extremely disinterested Hermione, and the two girls chant “Praise be her name!” Madison and cat immediately sit down right after.
Clara continues, tapping the keyboard again and a logo saying The Truth zooms up. “This show, mockingly called The Truth by some twit named Thomas Revere, has been around for years and years. He has the YouTube channel, a website where he sells all sorts of crappy junk, and an ego of hugely massive size.”
Ilona notices Clara’s eyes, full of intensity and dislike for this Thomas fellow.
Clara taps the button again, pulling up a picture of an older man, dressed in a very nice suit. His slim face is topped by grey hair pulled forward to hide his coming baldness and large glasses making his eyes look wider. To Ilona, he looks like so many other older adults she has seen.
“This is Thomas Revere, our enemy. Foe of decency and good books everywhere,” Clara states.
Everyone studies the picture, with Susan and Collette jointly booing and hissing.
Cecily stands and goes up to the laptop and stares, seeming to take in every part of the picture, then swirls around and faces everyone.
“Does no one notice how much he looks like Ilona and Clara? Especially right around the mouth?”
Everyone leans in, while still sitting, and stare at the screen. Ilona stumbles out, “you think he looks like me?”
Cecily points at the screen. “Well, you two aren’t an old man or anything, but look at the mouth!”
“Maybe abit….” Collette says.
“Maybe as well,” Clara says, peering at her enemy, “But I kinda doubt we have any connection. Thomas is American after all.”
Madison, who is also holding the oblivious Hermione to see the picture, rolls her eyes. “Another American? Between Susan and Cecily and Mrs. Chase, it’s just like the War of 1813 around here!”
Susan and Collette glance at each other, then shout. “1812 Maddie!”
Clara waves her wand across her friends, which makes everyone settle down and listen once again.
“On his episode about Judy Blume,”
Madison jumps up again, holding an inattentive Hermione, and chants with Clara, “Praise be her name!” Madison pops right down again.
“Thomas not only spreads vicious twisted lies about her, but her books as well. I am almost one thousand percent certain the idiot has never even read them. I mean, the moron even put Otherwise Known As Sheila The Great as the last book in that series!”
Collette and Susan audibly gasp, Cynthia winces, and Ilona shakes her head.
“He is sooooo stupid!” Cecily declares.
Clara spreads her arms, wand and all, and sputters out, “I KNOW! And to top it all off, he ends his stupid show by demanding all of her books be banned! Right away if not sooner!”
All the girls mumble their disbelief. Ilona can not believe anyone would want to ban Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
“But,” Clara continues, “to make me even more madder, right in the middle of his ridiculous segment, he trashed, and I mean trashed, Blubber, one of my absolute favourites! So my fight with this idiot Thomas was already personal, but after that, it became really really personal!” Clara glowers.
“Why is Blubber your favourite?” Ilona asks. A new hobby she has thought about taking up is finding out what a friends favourite book is and the reason why. Ilona has not decided yet herself, with so many to choose from these last few months, she finds the task daunting.
Clara looks thoughtful for a moment before answering. “Being a larger girl, I always saw the bullying Blubber went through and related it to myself. And while reasons are hinted at as to why the bullies bully, you still know they have a choice to not be nice.”
“I know that feeling.”
All eyes turn to Cecily.
“A boy, I think he is in grade four, keeps calling me Dora,” she says.
Ilona’s eyes go wide at this. “What?” She exclaims.
Madison puts Hermione down and flexes her fists. “Want me to kaboom the jerk?”
Cecily shakes her head. “It’s alright. I think he will stop soon.”
Clara points her wand at Cecily. “This! This is the reason why Blubber is so important, even to this day! And this Thomas person would have realized this if he had read it! But instead, he chooses the path of evil and messes with one of the greatest authors ever!”
Madison stands up, clutching the eternally bored Hermione, and shouts, “nobody messes with Judy Blume!”
Immediately, Clara and Madison then chant, “Praise be her name!”
Clara tips her wand onto the laptop and brings up a logo saying Clara’s Corner. “So in order to set the universe right, I came up with my own YouTube show, all to defend her! I made notes to counter that man’s stupidity, which Ilona and Susan have fashioned into a script and, with music by Cecily and Collette, we have a soundtrack. Maddie and I got our studio done down here, everything is almost set. The making of Clara’s Corner, all in the cause of truth and justice, will make this my best birthday ever! And…” Clara declares, “It is also our favourite authors birthday coming up as well!”
Everyone cheers, with Cecily piping in with “can we have an epic sleepover with her as well?”
“Okay, so to get started, between my rants about Thomas, we will be showcasing our talent. Cynthia has the breakdown of who does what when for Operation Double Fudge. Once she gets us all organized, we will start in a few minutes.” Clara explains.
Cynthia stands up and pulls out a binder full of papers. “Thank you Clara. I can tell this is going to be an awesome night for a great cause. So, let’s begin Operation Double Fudge!”
Within minutes, tasks and assignments are delegated, and everyone moves briskly with purpose. Buttons are affixed and Judy Blume books are displayed at rapid speed.
Finally, starting with Cynthia running the camera, “Action” is called and Clara’s Corner is a go.
Clara opens the show, right after the theme music, with a direct verbal attack on Thomas Revere and The Truth, pointing out the immense flaws in his recent show about Judy Blume.
She shortly moves into Madison, Collette and Susan bringing on Hermione, Doyle and Copernicus. Loudly announcing them over the theme music as the Legion of Super Pets, and telling the viewers to google it which causes Collette and Susan to facepalm, Madison is even more excited then usual. The pets do no tricks, despite repeated coaxing from the owners, but Doyle does lay down and takes a snooze at one point.
More of Clara’s facts about the greatness of Judy Blume are then shared, done in a funky sing song accompanied again by zippy music.
Cynthia switches with Collette behind the camera, allowing the girl to do her segment.
With loud, opera like music playing, Cynthia gets an extreme close-up as she displays her talent. Cynthia sticking her tongue out, curling it up and having it touch her nose. Madison’s retching sounds could be heard off camera.
More music blares out as Clara comes back and starts an eloquent little speech about the virtues of the Blubber book.
Next up is Ilona, Cecily and Cynthia who do an okay dance routine, set to a slightly techno polka beat.
When that finished, murmurs are heard off to the side, and suddenly Collette is pushed out before the camera. After quickly explaining how this is a last second change up, Collette does a book review. Talking about The Complete Unabridged Sherlock Holmes, Collette goes on and on about not only the glories of Sherlock and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, but how this massive volume went with her to summer camp a year ago.
Noticing a signal off camera, Collette wraps up and Clara returns, clad in her Wonder Woman outfit. Using her lasso of truth, she demolishes more so called facts The Truth had conjured up.
Another section comes up, with Madison and Susan doing a puppet show, complete with old Johnny Carson jokes.
The last scene has Clara back, asking politely for The Truth to apologize to Judy Blume, her readers, and all their viewers. And going off the air would be nice as well.
After a small camera wobble, everyone goes up with Clara, and with arms crossed, say in unison that “Nobody messes with Judy Blume!” One last chant from Madison and Clara of “Praise be her name,” finished the show.
Collette quickly saves the file and starts to fiddle with it on Cynthia’s laptop. Graphics added and sound tweaked abit, she begins the upload to Clara’s YouTube channel. Talk chatters on as the file uploads, with much cake being gobbled down.
Collette calls everyone over as the video goes live. Right away the link is smattered all over twitter and facebook and the hits start pilling up. Minutes later, Collette flips over to The Truth YouTube channel to see their reaction.
And it is not there. It is gone. Vanished from the interwebs.
“WE DID IT!” Clara shouts. And everyone does a group high five.
Song For This Chapter: Brand New Day by Jed and Joss Whedon
First serialization started on Friday, June 7th, 2013.